hi peeps! heyyy... how's life lately... i kinda wonder if i'll get a date on valentine's day... it makes me think dat if i cant even get one on valentine's day.. i wonder how will i ever get one to my valentine forever.. i dunno.. i really really dunno.. and it kinda makes me.. scare.. i fear for my future.. though i know my future is in the hands of my Maker.. ok ok.. i'm crappy.. no wonder i started to feel my frenz.. peeps are avoiding me.. i kinda tok rubbish and i'm boring.. dead boring.. i dunno how to make it betta.. i look ard... and think to myself.. why does it have to be me dat suffers.. why cant i have a life like others.. i undersatnd that i'm different.. but it's like... haiz... hard to see any good in me... i dun thik there is anyway.. i noe i noe.. u all always say... " you are.. " " of cos u're good.." sometimes it makes me wonder did they say it to make me feel betta... i noe i'm useless... i cant do anything right... i'm hardly of any help to anyone... i'm just trying to do wad i can.. but.... it nva was done well................
GoD fOuNd Me
aT 7:59 PM
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
heyyy!! hiya peeps... thanks for ur concern for those who read the previous entry.. dun worry.. i'm feeling much better.. maybe because i haf no time to think abt my life.. abt wad has happen, about wad had happen and oso wad may happen... jus totally burn myself out with everything i can find... but den.. i got a feeling i'm just running away from the problem then solving it.. and with dat.. i make myself think that i'm a CNMI (CanNot Make It)guy... haiz... man... i kinda realise i'm totally short of self esteem and self confidence.. everytime i look at myself... i would say... "hey drew, u noe something? u suck.. and not only dat.. u suck BIG time.." it kinda sub-consciencely happen.. haiz.. dunno wad to do man.. hope that kinda suicide thoughts dun float in... it's scarely i noe.. but cant really avoid.. soooo.. i oso dunnno wad to do.. maybe i'll just leave it.. and try do something when it really happens.. i kinda feel... haiz.. unwanted.. i was in some cca.. dat organise stuffs for the school... eh.. not school.. it's faculty.. ahhh.. but den.. i was like really really really busy last semester.. so i couldnt handle it.. kinda hafta throw it back to the seniors.. den jus last month.. i was kinda made to hand in the resignation letter to say i formally quit the committee.. i was like... ooookayyy.. i didnt noe that my resignation letter includes quitting from the club... i was like gosh!! i didnt want to do dat.. and now.. wad worse was.. everything i bump into those club members.. they wouldnt even acknowledge my presence.. sheesh.. it's frustrating and confusing... i mean.. did i do anything wrong dat i have not to be acknowledged?!! man.. this is gonna be tough to handle... ok.. hafta go liao.. see ya peeps.. take care.. andddd.. CHEERS!
GoD fOuNd Me
aT 6:08 PM
Monday, January 26, 2004
recently i got a feeling i'm seeping into depression again.. i dont know why... maybe it's cos by lack of communcation with people.. perhaps it's cos by inability do wad i should be doing.. or it could bcos i jus couldnt be wad i wanna be.. reaching for my goals.. now that i'm partially handicap.. i couldnt even do the simplest thing like running around or even kick a ball.. i didnt know 2 months of setback could be so bad.. i look okay from the outside but inside i'm a torn and tatter guy.. wif totally no self belief that i can do anything with my own abilities.. quite sad i know.. but i'm really trying real real real hard to build up my self confidence.. but as u know.. nothing's working.. nothing turns out the way i wish they would.. it's been a couple months oreadi.. how i wish i wasnt alive in the first place.. this life aint has a meaning when i succeed in nothing.. yea.. i know.. i use to mention abt life rox.. and life is good.. now.. it's a totally different situation.. previously i had people to talk to.. people who kinda lend a listening ear.. those who are kind enough to put some time aside to listen to me... but now.. nobody would.. everyone's busy with their own stuffs... everyone's wants to have a piece of others time.. no no.. dont get me wrong.. i'm not blaming those people who kinda "turn their back on me".. they're still there jus that they arent that availble anymore.. how i wish i could talk to someone.. someone who cares and listens.. and.. doesnt mind me crapping anyway dat stuffs dat doesnt concern her/him.. but sadly.. haiz.. life aint the way u wan it to be.. i'm asking for a million bucks to land in front of me... i'm not asking to get marvellous results in wad eva i do.. i jus wan someone to care for me... not someone who keeps naggin away.. telling me i should be doing this instead of dat.. just wan u to listen... i know it's quite impossible to ask for things to happen.. but still... haiz.. i'm lost.. got to go dudes and dudnettes.. goodbye cruel world...............................................................................................
GoD fOuNd Me
aT 3:30 PM
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
another normal day at school.. another boring day.. yesterday was nice, class ended early at 1130am to be precise.. and had the whole day of going out.. haha.. i accompany another guy to penisular.. eh.. no no.. queensway shopping centre.. haha.. whoa.. it was totally contrast to dat on saturday which i went to too.. saturday was like jam pack with people.. hardly any space to move around.. but yesterday was great.. hardly anyone, moreover most of the stores were open too.. shop around for clothings.. dis guy i acccompanied.. has totally no fashion sense.. so.. me and another guy make an effort to accompany him so as to hope to change his image.. haha.. he wants to impress other peeps but with the clothes he has, he aint getting anyway.. sooo.. we made him try out clothes after clothes.. haha... really fun.. i mean get a set of matching clothes is great.. considering he brought like 100bucks we were going all out as money isnt a factor.. haha.. in the end bought 2 t-shirts, 1 shirt and 1 polo tee.. hehe.. and i thik oso got jeans.. eh.. no.. didnt buy.. haha.. imagine liddat only spent $50+.. cool rite? make ur money worth.. haha.. later we when to bukit timah plaza to play pool.. man.. wad a rotten game of pool! losing 4 out of 6 games isnt plan for.. haha.. maybe due to lapse of concentration.. i keep missing shots dat i hardly miss last time.. quite sad.. but losing is just part of a game rite? but still, i'm kinda upset.. who likes to lose? haha.. 2day was extra boring boring.. had the same old stuffs.. lectures and tutorials.. after dat went home cos i had some cashflow prob.. ahaha.. it's quite sad and boring when ur cash downs dry.. haha.. ok.. i'll leave here.. see ya peeps! and rmb.. CHEERS!!!!
GoD fOuNd Me
aT 7:47 PM
Thursday, January 15, 2004
poly started for more than a wk.. but still.. i cant adjust my body clock.. haha.. somehow i always wanted to sleep more no matter how early i go to bed.. i needa like pull myself out of bed.. i got a feeling my body clock is going bonkers.. haha.. projects.. assignments.. man.. y do they need all dis stuffs at poly.. but i think dat's how it is.. haha.. i haf learn how to do programming.. quite cool wen i manage to run my 1st program.. though it looks kinda dumb to some ppl.. how i wish i didnt haf such a complicated past.. and thus.. not having a confusing future.. how nice it would be if life is how u wan it to be.. but on the other hand.. it would be like.. everyone getting wad they wan.. and u would be special nor special to someone else.. rite? and den life wouldnt haf ups and downs.. and oso.. there wouldnt be insipring life storys to tell to ppl.. haha.. and happiness wouldnt be define at all!! i thik i need someone to tok to.. i hate it wen depression starts to seep in.. it's really uncontrollable.. but kinda thik of it... it's been a long long time since dis depression thingy came back.. really.. wen i kinda think abt the past.. all the good and bad jus comes in.. and the bad stuffs really hits me hard... =( anyway.. i thik i'll stop here.. i got a feeling i'm boring u.. haha.. mean time.. take care and CHEERS!!!
GoD fOuNd Me
aT 5:00 PM
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
today really tired.. lesson started at 8am.. den only just got home now (9pm).. long long day.. more den 12hrs outside.. ok ok.. i noe u peeps might oso be out for dat long.. cheer it!! can always come to me for cheering up.. haha.. provided my service is open wen u wan.. though i'm 24/7 contactable.. haha.. kk.. man.. today's practical.. hai.. everything can until last qns..duno y sia.. everything setup correctly.. cos the wire connection is abt the same for all the qns.. so for the last qns.. dunno wad happen.. the voltage lvl shown on the osciloscope.. haha.. wrong! so the lab techniction came to check.. haha.. he check for 20mins.. and claim nothing wrong! power rite.. but still the reading is wrong! sooo the lab guy, veri nice guy, help me reconnect while i go around checking others.. haha.. in the end.. he got it working.. good sia.. den he dunno say wad.. maybe cos i cramp all my components in a small area so the current go haywire.. haha.. dunno la.. maybe.. haha.. sometimes such things occur.. haha.. hmmm.. maths.. first time man!! really really first time.. haha.. i did tutorials during class time.. usually.. i'll be yakking away or doing other stuffs.. haha.. but today.. i really did my work.. and finish every thing.. so proud of myself.. i manage to do my tutorials.. haha.. maybe cos it's the inside thingy dat tells me to work hard.. =p not bad.. some stuffs are really psychological de.. u only need to think dat way and it works out dat a way.. haha.. hmmm.. i thik dat's all for 2day.. see ya!! CHEERS!! take care!!
GoD fOuNd Me
aT 9:49 PM
Monday, January 12, 2004
ello peeps! are there still ppl reading my blog? u ppl are like soooo sooooooo busy lately.. yea.. i know i know.. school just started so need time to adjust.. i'll jus write anyway.. hehe.. sunday, had worship session and i was playing the guitar.. with another guy. the guy playing with me is the younger brother of the woship leader.. hmmm.. he's ok.. just dat.. i think he's crappy sometimes.. not as in wad he says but it's wad he does.. it kinda.. haha.. ok.. piss me off a little.. i do get a little frustrated when ppl dun put in effort in wad they do.. yea.. so i was kinda agitated wen he didnt practice.. he kinda spolit the whole session too.. but den.. cant blame him.. maybe he doesnt have enuff exposure to make him put in effort.. maybe i was a little hard on him.. at least i didnt scold him.. haha... i'm trying to be a nice guy.. hehe.. need to be more patient.. i use to be.. but my trust was betray.. so my attitude kinda change.. sad rite.. i'm trying to get back my patience.. and it's really really hard.. =(
now i'm recovering from a injured but undiagious knee.. haha.. i really wanna get back into the team and start playing soccer again.. or even start doing exercises.. now there's even prob on the treadmill.. i only can do the exercycle.. but it's ok.. i do feel the muscles at my thighs tighten and get stronger.. some stuffs.. jus need patience to pull thru.. and determination too.. i really feel like giving up on soccer.. but i noe.. it's gonna be even harder to do den to try to recupurate well.. oh well.. i think i betta go.. haha.. i dunno wad to write liao.. need more exictment in my life.. or else.. it's really goonna bore ppl like u who read my blog to death.. kk... see ya nxt time.. CHEERS!!!
GoD fOuNd Me
aT 5:55 PM
Friday, January 09, 2004
HI peeps.. it's been quite a few days since i came on.. sorri for those who keep visiting my blog.. hehe.. sincere apologises.. past few days quite ok.. Poly 3rd term just started this wk.. studies can nva be fun.. i made a resoultion dat i must do well dis semester.. haha.. last sem.. my results sucks! i jus got back my PEEE (Princple of Electronics and Electrical Engineering) paper.. got shock.. only 53.. ok ok.. my fault cos i didnt study.. but.. didnt expect so low.. haiz.. dat's y must listen during lecture.. DONT SLEEP!! or stone.. i usually stone thru lectures.. hardly do tutorials.. haha.. dat's y la.. den oso complacent.. i thought i could do well even if i dun touch my notes.. i was totally wrong.. but i'm making sure i'll be working harder! encouragement will be needed though.. haha.. i defy doc orders todae.. i went to play soccer though i wasnt instruct not to exercise for 2 mths.. kinda hard to control when i see others play.. the passion, the urge made me wanna play.. but.. i thik i was lucky to get a team with a lousy goalkeeper.. it kinda piss me off when he couldnt distribute nor hold on the shot.. so after 2 games i decided to stop playing.. apparently, my knee started to hurt as well.. if i had good games, i'll continue playing and who noes.. the consequences might differ.. haha.. i got a new wallet too! haha.. i lost mine.. couple of weeks ago wif my stolen bag.. cos it was inside dat bag.. but got a new one now! neckerman wallet.. though isnt as good looking as my previous neckerman.. hehe.. but lot of compartments.. and it's only.. $31.90.. compare to my lost wallet which cost $59.90.. haha.. not bad aint.. i'll take good care of it.. hehe.. i got some tutorials to do.. haha.. so i'll see u all nxt time? yea!! CHEERS!!
GoD fOuNd Me
aT 9:00 PM
Saturday, January 03, 2004
yo peeps!!! so fast... 3rd day of the new year liao... wad a boring saturday.. nothing to do.. ok.. i did went shopping with my mum.. but i wasnt really in the mood to.. so it didnt reali make my day betta.. i woke up today.. i dunno wad to do.. haha.. no programs.. no plans... nothing!! felt something was missing.. but i dunno wad it is.. haha... emptiness within me... irony.. nothing seem to interested me today.. i even fell aslp while watching a football match.. aint that incredible? haha.. i dun usually do dat.. maybe boredom is kiling me... i dunwana go school though.. it's not as fun as sec school.. i love sec sch.. my buddies.. brutter.. kinda miss dem.. sorry.. cant write much cos.. u noe.. i'm bored.. it some how spreads thru my body... ok.. i shall stop here.. maybe i'll write more the nxt time.. CHEERS!!
GoD fOuNd Me
aT 9:32 PM
Thursday, January 01, 2004
New Year's here!! welcome 2004.. um... goodbye 2003!! but sadly.. when i look back at 2003.. i really treasure.. lotsa learning stones dat push me forward onto life... i realise.. 2003 is a yr where... nearly everything happen... it's not every year u get a knee operation rite? haha... and it's not every year u kinda get into BGR trouble.. ok.. though it does.. but not a major 1 rite? haha... ok.. crap.. wadeva.. haha.. 2003.. hai.. lotsa downs... ups.. reali little.. but enuff to ponder on.. which is kinda cool.. got a job.. enter poly.. live a free life.. get knee operation.. recover from knee op.. play one of the best games of my career.. played one of the worst game of my career... oh ya!! da 'O's!! big big thingy... haha... reading lotsa bk.. something i could nva do during my other years... i enjoyed 2003!! but looking forward to 2004 too.. it's great to know dat i'm progressing in life.. in every part of life... realise alot of stuffs abt life too.. life aint sucky if i look back.. it's inspirational... really? u see.. the set backs and tribulations.. they are there not to bring us down but to make us even stronger.. remember.. all humans have the will to survive.. no matter how hard.. giving up isnt our profession... serious.. u only FEEL like giving up.. u nva really give up... there's always a part of ur soul or heart or mind dat tells u, u gotta keep going.. ok.. crappy again.. 2004.. wad will it bring? i dunno.. wad will happen? i dunno.. wad will i become?? i dunno too.. but all i noe dat it's fate dat will bring me thru.. fate ( God's Will) gives us options to choose.. but we.. must make the choices.. trust ur heart and ur beliefs... and life ROX!! CHeers!!!
GoD fOuNd Me
aT 1:21 AM
Thats Me
ANdReW*
>> i respond to : AnDrEw, dReW, pUfFeR, ZhU Ge
>> 20 yr old guy.. 1.73m tall.. 90kg.. ='(
>> worshipping in EvAnGeL bApTiSt ChUrCh
>> GRAUDATED from SiNgApOrE pOlY
>> came from PrEsByTeRiAn HiGh ScHoOl.. rox!
>> grew up in JiEmIn PrImArY
>> huge soccer frantic
>> loves to ROCK the guitar.. acoustic or electric.. doesnt matter
>> a huggeeee newcastle united fannn!
>> loves purrpllleee
>> totally adore the name CHLOE!! that name rox!
single/ loOkiNgg / maRrieD
WisHliSt >> God's Faithful Servant
>> drive a huMmEr!!!
>> 3 storey mansion at the seaside
>> sErVe GoD iN fUlL-tImE mInIsTrY
>> a great friend to everyone
>> Bassist in my band >> Play in the World Cup!
